Safety centre
Meeting a stranger takes courage. We try to earn it.
Everything we do to keep this community safe, everything you can do for yourself, and how to recognise the one kind of harm that targets people looking for a partner. Worth reading once.
What we do, without being asked
Government ID before anyone is matched
Not a selfie. An identity document, checked by a specialist provider, required before a member can be matched with anybody. There is no unverified tier, so both people in every introduction have proved who they are.
Nobody can browse you
There is no feed, no gallery and no search. You are shown to one person at a time, and only to someone the matching has already judged compatible with you. Your profile cannot be scrolled past, screenshotted from a grid, or collected.
Your photos are not public files
Media is stored privately and served through short-lived links that are authorised per match. Someone who is not your match cannot load your photos even with the address, and a link that leaks stops working.
A behavioural review after every connection
When a connection ends, each person is asked what it was like. It is how patterns surface that no single report would catch — and the answers that matter most never reach the person they are about.
Safety disclosures stay with us
Two answers in that review — “made me feel unsafe” and “disrespectful or dismissive” — go only to our safety team and are never shown to the person described. Nobody should have to weigh their honesty against being identified.
A strike ladder with real consequences
A first strike is recorded. A second issues a warning. A third pauses matching for thirty days. A fourth suspends the account for human review. It escalates automatically, so nothing depends on somebody remembering.
Report and block, reviewed by a person
Reports are categorised — safety threat, harassment, impersonation, inappropriate content, spam, policy violation — and tiered by severity, then assigned to a reviewer and tracked through to a resolution. Blocking is immediate and does not wait for a review.
Leaving costs a sentence
Ending a connection asks for a note to the other person. It is the anti-ghosting rule made concrete: you can always leave, and you cannot leave someone wondering.
The first-date checklist
Eight habits that cost nothing and remove most of the risk. Especially worth reading if it has been a long time.
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Video call before you meet
Ten minutes confirms the person matches their photos and saves a wasted evening. Reluctance is worth noticing; refusal is worth acting on.
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Meet in public, in daylight, travelling separately
A café you already know. Arrive and leave under your own steam. A daytime coffee is a complete first date whatever anyone says.
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Tell someone the plan
Who, where, when. Share your live location. Agree a time you will check in, and a word that means “call me with an emergency”.
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Keep your drink and your phone with you
Watch it being made, keep it in sight, and start the evening with a charged phone.
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Never send money. Not once, not for anything
Not for an emergency, a customs fee, a flight, or an investment. Nobody who has not met you needs your money, and the request is the whole signal. Report it here rather than deciding privately whether it was innocent.
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Hold back documents and addresses
Not your ID, not your workplace, not where you live — not until you have met several times and trust has been earned rather than assumed.
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Stay in the app until you want not to
Pressure to move to WhatsApp or Telegram in the first few messages is a pattern, not a preference. Moving off-platform removes every protection on this page.
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You never owe anyone a second meeting
Not after a nice evening, not after they travelled, not after weeks of conversation. Ending it here costs you one sentence and nothing else.
Recognising a romance scam
This is the harm that specifically targets people looking for a partner, and it works by being patient. It is aimed most often at people dating again after a divorce or a loss — which is a large part of who we are built for, and the reason identity verification here is not optional.
- They are always somewhere else — working offshore, deployed, travelling — and a video call is never possible.
- The affection arrives very fast and very completely, before you have met.
- A crisis appears once you are attached: a medical bill, a stuck payment, a customs charge.
- The money is always urgent and always by a route that cannot be reversed — transfer, crypto, gift cards.
- They ask you to keep the relationship private, or to move to another platform early.
- Their story shifts in small ways, and questioning it produces hurt rather than an answer.
If any of this is happening, you have not been foolish and you are not the first. Stop sending money, keep the messages, and report it here — we would far rather hear about a suspicion that turns out to be nothing.
What we cannot do
No verification predicts character. An identity document establishes that a real, named adult is accountable for an account; it cannot tell you whether they will be kind, honest about their intentions, or ready for what they said they were ready for.
A safety page that implied otherwise would be doing harm, because false comfort lowers the guard of the person relying on it. What we can honestly claim is that we have removed the kinds of harm that depend on anonymity, and that when something does go wrong, a person reads your report and something happens as a result.
If something is wrong
Report it in the app, or write to us.
Reporting takes two taps and is not disclosed to the person you report. If you would rather reach a human directly, or you are worried about someone who is not on the platform, write to us.
Contact the safety teamIf you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services first. We are not an emergency service.
Questions
How does Date to Marry verify members?
Every member submits a government-issued identity document, checked by a specialist verification provider, before they can be matched with anyone. There is no unverified tier: an account that has not passed is never shown to anybody and is never offered anybody.
What happens when I report someone?
The report is categorised and tiered by severity, assigned to a reviewer, and tracked through to a resolution. Serious categories are escalated ahead of others. Blocking takes effect immediately and does not wait for the review.
Will the person know I reported or reviewed them?
No. Reports are not disclosed to their subject. In the post-connection review, the two answers that concern safety — feeling unsafe, and being treated dismissively — go only to our safety team and are never shown to the person described.
What happens to someone who breaks the rules?
A first strike is recorded, a second issues a warning, a third pauses their matching for thirty days, and a fourth suspends the account for human review. It escalates automatically rather than depending on anyone remembering.
Can other members see my photos?
Only your match. Media is stored privately and served through short-lived authorised links rather than public files, so someone who is not matched with you cannot load your photos even if they have the address.
